July 31, 2005

Nothing comes to mind this morning so best to hang it up now.

Glenda is doing great and so am I.

It is already pretty hot so I suspect today will probably be a book reading day since there isn't a NASCAR race.

Hope your day will be a good'en.

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best.-Tim Duncan

July 30, 2005

Glenda took a shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took at least fifteen minutes to re-do the bandage after the shower but we made it just fine. Then with feeding Tomi and cleaning the littler box, letting Mikey out to go at 5:00 am, feeding him, fixing breakfast for myself and Glenda, doing the dishes and answering the phone I've been too busy to do this today.

In the end I thought I would try to stumble through with something anyway.

The yearly neighborhood meeting is this afternoon, down about the other end of the street. I'll drive Glenda down and watch her like a hawk so that she doesn't let the wrapped leg get too hot.

I've mumbled and stumbled about all I'm going to today. No thank you's are necessary.

Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that money cannot buy; therefore value it, and be thankful for it.~Izaak Walton

July 29, 2005

Glenda has been doing almost everything the doctor has recommended and is being rewarded with a real good healing skin graft. She has even seen the crater and barely flinched. The site has healed enough the radiation will begin next Wednesday at 11:00 am. This will be the first of thirty two treatments. A treatment very week day for thirty two days with a holiday in there could see her finished around the 15th or 16th of September. The treatments are not very long, maybe two minutes, but it takes awhile to get things lined out each treatment. They went thru all of the possible side effects and neither she nor I are worried about them. We just want to make sure this thing left no shed cells and we want it done as soon as possible.

On Friday the 5th of August she will have a visit with Doctor Dale in Columbia then back to the lake for a treatment.

The only cloud now is the tiny worry about the liver lesions and the lung spots. We need to wait for more full scans to see if they have grown any. That will be on the 20th of September. Only a tiny worry because the lung spots were so very small and one doctor gave us a possible reason for them which I can't remember. He said that it was not uncommon for Missouri residents to have them. The liver things were biopsied and found to be non-cancerous.

We're just about as happy as we can be!

Glenda wants to go to the store today...........It's going to be hard to keep her going slow........Ha, if you know her very well you may not believe that.

Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.~Plato

July 28, 2005

Another cool day here, I could get to liking this! Glenda even went out and sat on the porch for a little while yesterday. The doctor didn't want her out in any heat because sweating under the bandages could create a great place to raise lots of unwanted bacteria.

Everything is going just great with the graft. The sooner the radiations treatments can start the better we'll feel! To that doctor is on our list for this afternoon. Hurry up and wait is and has been our way of life for quite a spell now. It makes you a little crazy after awhile. In my case, crazy going in turns into a huge double dose of crazy causing forgetfulness and ignorance. Umm, more than I had anyway.

Glenda has been moving around some without the crutches and that makes her happy. It irks me somewhat because I'm afraid she'll over do it. She has been in that bed for too long and making up for lost time can't happen. It can't happen anyway because that time has past never to be used again.

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.~Al Batt

July 27, 2005

Again nothing to say but I'll stumble along here for a couple of lines anyway. This was one.

Two: The doctor was real pleased with Glenda's progress on the healing of the skin graft. Our next visit there won't be till the 5th of August. Tomorrow we'll see the radiation doctor for the CT scan needed to fomulate a plan for the attack and probably the when of it. Glenda has also been told that she can take a shower but she still needs to wear the brace the rest of the time. He also told her that if she was sure she wouldn't fall she could put the crutches up. I think she will keep using them for awhile.

Looks like I got a little windy after all and ran past my second line. Humm......

Tho we cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.~Bertha Calloway

July 26, 2005

Another visit to with Doctor Dale in Columbia this morning. He was the surgeon on her knee and had mentioned last Thursday that after taking a peek today Glenda might be able to get in the shower. He also told me that I would need to be the bandager after the showers. I already bandaged it once in the radiation doctors office so I know I can do it just fine. One would think it might be hard to live with a woman who hasn't showered for almost two weeks but it hasn't bothered me one bit. The knowledge that I won't be able to keep Glenda from seeing the huge crater left in her leg causes a tiny worry of her reaction when she does but she'll settle down soon enough. After all she was willing to give the whole leg but that was deemed unnecessary.

We did get the radiation treatments changed to the lake hospital. We go there Thursday so they can take a CT scan. They need that to plan the aiming of the rays. We still don't know when the radiation treatments can start. We do know they will begin as soon as the skin graft is healed. I'm sure we'll learn a little more about that today.

I'm thinking we'll be heading out of here pretty quick without any breakfast. Ha, ha, we can both eat there for less than $3.00 and don't need to leave a tip either. Nothing to clean up and no dishes to wash. A little good here, a little good there, we will take it wherever we find it. Big problems and worries can help one discover a heck of a lot of good that has always been around us, things we had not acknowledged as such before. Good is everywhere!!

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.~Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi

July 25, 2005

I can't describe the steak that was carried in for us and put on our table for supper. It was so good that I can't even begin to do it justice with typed words so I'll just go on. There sure has been a lot of great food carried into this house the past few weeks. It does seem like we have a bunch of friends that go way and above the call of duty. God has truly blessed us!

ANGELS exist; but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

A little bit of rain last night but it only succeeded in making a hot muggy day even more muggy. The latest forecast calls for a cool front to move in tonight that should bring the temperature down around 22 degrees and maybe more rain sometime today or tomorrow. That sounds awfully good to me.

I'm told we.......me, may need to go to town today for a few things that my boss needs. I wonder if she always uses the we word because I'm large enough for two people? So far I haven't been asked to do anything that I haven't been glad to do........including cleaning one bathroom, washing the kitchen floor and vacuuming the complete house. I may do the other two bathrooms today.

The time for typie talk is over. It's time for action now, I think Glenda and my big body are both hungry. A good meal one day always makes me hungry the next.

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.~Adelle Davis

July 24, 2005

What you do do well and that's what we try to do as we do almost all that we can. I'm sure there are a few other things that we could be doing but since we're not it must mean we don't want to or at least we haven't realized that we want to yet. I may have got a little mixed up on that I don't know.

Glenda did get me to realize that a down on my knees job doing the kitchen floor is something that I might want to do today after I fix her breakfast. Then for later she has hinted about the possibility of me raising my desire several notches in relation to vacuuming the rest of the floors. She is opening my eyes quite a bit more than I'd prefer but I suppose the jobs need to be done.

She has this deal down pretty pat now. She says, Larry repeat after me but turn the first letter upside down. "We need to vacuum the floors today". Okay repeat it like I told you. I say, "me need to vacuum the floors today". She says, exactly! You got it! You sure do catch on quick. Oh, she says, you can wait till this afternoon if you want to.

I just barely escaped learning the art of washing clothes yesterday. I'm sorry that our septic system has not been repaired yet.......Kinda! Thanks to a very sweet friend I didn't need to learn where any of the coin-o-matic laundries are either. She even picked up and delivered. Woe is me, I owe I owe, I owe. I believe you can teach an old dog new tricks but you shouldn't try teaching very many at one time.

The radiation doctor thinks because they will be shooting mostly skin that the treatments won't be too bad. They might make the bones in that area more susceptible to a break and the skin could become tough as wood around the area but as he said, it wouldn't be anything that we can't live with. He told us there is a possibility of some swelling but didn't think it would in this case. He told us about some possible redness and a weeping like a sunburn but nothing that can't be treated. All we can say is bring it on!

The treatments take only about two minutes but it might take ten minutes to get set up. We're thinking we're going to have it done at the lake hospital after all. We had originally set them up to be done at Jeff City but since have changed our mind. I'm pretty sure we can get it changed with no problem.

Well I've got to get to.................Wo...wor.....WORK. Sorry, I had a little trouble with that work word.

Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done.~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

July 23, 2005

The thermometer that is in the shade said it was 104 here at 3:34 yesterday afternoon. I think with the high humidity the heat index was somewhere around 112. I'm telling you it's still mighty warm out of the house. It really isn't all that cool in here either but we've got a fan or two running.

Glenda had several visitors yesterday after we got home, so even laying in bed she has been pretty busy and happy. One visitor brought some crab and dip, the second couple brought some really good chicken and a couple pieces of cake while the third four visitors brought two whole complete meals including a salad and dessert so I've been pretty happy too.

FRIENDS. Where in the hell would folks in trouble be without friends????????????????????????????????????

After assuming the position of head cook and chief bottle washer almost two weeks ago, I've gained about four pounds and have yet to cook more than a couple of eggs and micro waving several bowls of oatmeal. How does that put weight on you? Friends! Friends are the answer to so many more things than you could even imagine. Be it only a phone call, a card or just an email, they all help very much.

We learned yesterday that radiation is as soon as possible and will run, so far as we know at this time, for six and a half weeks. That is five days a week. I can't compute the half week but it reads like 32 plus treatments. They won't begin until the graft heals. That could be as soon as the first part of August. THE SOONER THE BETTER! It will be a mean radiation because it was a mean cancer and they don't want any left hanging around. As I've mentioned before, this type cancer has a history of doing that, starting up at the edge of the cut no matter how large a margin is taken. In this case the bone made the margin pretty small.

Anyway, we're still doing our quadrupled daily prayers as we thankfully enjoy life just as much as we can!

Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.~Cicero

July 22, 2005

No chemo at this time and I hope not for later either. The doctor explained it and that stuff will kill you! It will damage some heart muscles, several other body parts and some possibility of kidney damage which Glenda has only one of. Chemo will be used only as a last-ditch effort and then only depending on the circumstances. The doctor doesn't think that will ever be needed and if it was it would only increase the chance of winning from 0 to 5%. If it should come to that a possible 5% chance would sound pretty good I'd say.

The first thing, unless we learn different today, will be radiation treatments on the knee area. This is just to help insure that all the cancer cells are gone. Operating on this type cancer they like to take a larger thickness of clean with the tumor but couldn't because of where this one was located. The actual tumor was about 2x5 cc which is classified as small. Large are the ones over 5cc.

They told us that the radiation would be as good as amputating the leg in this case. Whatever has been done has been done and taking off the leg wouldn't change that.

They have scheduled another CT scan of her lungs, liver and abdomen area for September 20. This is to check the growth in her liver and the tiny specks on her lungs to make sure nothing has grown.

There are still many, many miles of limping to do before we can walk or run again. All things considered I think we and the doctors are doing everything that can be done. Now if you'll just continue adding your prayers to ours, all things can turn out good!

Thank you all very much!!!!!!!!!

Colonel Kane: You're convinced that God is dead because there's evil in the world.
Captain Cutshaw: Correct.
Colonel Kane: Then why don't you think He's alive because of the goodness in the world?
The Ninth Configuration

July 21, 2005

We've got an appointment with the chemo doctor in Columbia this morning. At this time we don't know if chemo is a thing to be or not. I suspect we'll pretty much learn about that today since Glenda was the subject at the meeting of all the doctors yesterday. Unless something changes we have an appointment with the radiation doctor tomorrow right after an appointment with Doctor Dale who is the main man in this case and did the operating on the knee.

On the subject of another little shitty problem, we had some septic tank people out yesterday and after spending $560 discovered that our septic systems drain field isn't anymore and will need to be repaired right away. They were supposed to call us back with an estimate yesterday but failed to do so. Can't wash any clothes and no shit could become more than just an expression around here. I'll try to call them before we leave this morning but my hopes of catching him aren't very high based on our past experiences.

It does seem like most every thing I type is a bit on the negative side but it isn't meant to be. It is just a stating of a few things that is constant with life and we accept them as we thankfully accept life! Just bumping along, singing a song, side by side.

Life is a long lesson in humility.~James M. Barrie

July 20, 2005

A very hot and humid day is in the making here. It isn't as bad as it is going to be over the weekend we're told, so I think Mother Nature must be slipping it to us a little at a time so we'll be able to handle the three digit temps with the high humidity that's forecast. Very thoughtful of the old girl I'd say.

Meanwhile along this crooked treacherous trail thru the jungle, we are very fortunate to have our prayer initiated faith as our guide. With that and a lot of fortitude we've been able to beat fear back several time as it has tired to get into our camp. We've still got a few hills and hollows to cross and a lot of brush to chop down before we can get to the nice cool clearing on the other side of this dark forsaken place with all it's dangers hanging around. We do both believe that the rewards are worth every battle we may incur along the way. With our guides fighting along side us, we're going to definitely make the trip successfully!

"Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me."

July 19, 2005 REPORT

The roller coaster topped the hill for a little bit this morning, went into a small dip and now has us traveling on a fairly level surface but still way above low. We have life and intend to enjoy it but there can still be some uncomfortable complications.

The greatest thing was, no cancerous tissue in the lymph nodes and the knee growth was cut out clean by so many cc's or something like that. The doctor was glad to see no swelling of Glenda's leg indicating she had been following directions. He appeared very pleased overall.

She told him how scared she had become with his words as he looked at her leg before the operation and he admitted to being scared himself at how the angiosarcoma cancer had grown. He did not in any way sugarcoat anything and we admire him for that.

He went on to tell us that to make things hopefully more sure, there may be some radiation sessions scheduled and possibly some chemotherapy treatments too. He told us that the knee lesion was cut out almost to the bone and if it should reoccur there, the only hope left would be an above the knee amputation. He also expressed some hope that none of the cells had gone to the lung or liver but they're going to check her regularly for any of those possibilities.

Any radiation treatment couldn't begin until after the skin graft heals and that may take another three weeks. We don't know about the chemo stuff. We'll find out more about that at the appointment with the Chemo Doctor on Thursday and then after another appointment with Doctor Dale and the Radiation doctor on Friday.

Doctor Dale said, at the meeting of the minds tomorrow Glenda will be the subject. (He didn't call it that but I can't remember what he said.) Anyway from that will come a course of action we think.

Here is a thing that you can believe or just do with what you want but it is the truth! Saturday night or in the early morning of Sunday I awoke saying "thank you Lord" over and over. I don't know that I said it aloud or what but the words were there and afterwards a real peace came over me and I slept like a baby. I remembered it after I got up but couldn't remember if any words were spoken to me. Anyway I went to Glenda and as I held her told her about the occurrence and tried to explain it to her along with the good vibes it had created in me. I asked her to join me in not worrying anymore either. She did extremely well until the doctor came in when she crumpled just a tiny tad. As the doctor talked to her she was quickly lifted out of that sag!

There isn't a thing in all the above that is intended to sound sad or worried! I've just tried to tell it as I understand it. We're as happy as we can be! It behooves all to enjoy everyday they receive! We're thinking prayer will positively enhances the enjoyment!

July 19, 2005

We're thinking today we'll pretty well find out our future, near future at least. Again we have high hopes along with some really good feelings about the information we'll receive at today's trip to the doctor. The doctor is Paul S. Dale, after researching him on-line we feel pretty good about him too. I'll try to let you know the results later today or in the morning.

Glenda is staying as up as ever with very few sputters. We know all the prayers have helped and we really do appreciate them more than you'll ever know. If the power of a good strong positive mind coupled with all the prayers can heal, Glenda is well on her way. She is just amazing!

Thank you all so very much!

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.~Franklin D. Roosevelt

July 18, 2005

Yesterday was as good a day or better than you might expect. Glenda gets up, cleans up, dresses then lays back in bed to keep her leg up as high as she can. She gets several well wishing phone calls a day and a few walk in visitors too. I think that along with the prayers, the cards and the many emailed good wishes that she has been getting has been a lot of help in keeping her spirits up. A couple of times when we've been alone her mind slips to thinking about "what is or might be" and it's pretty damn hard on her till we can get the mind back out of there. Mostly she is pretty up and stays out of that area of thought! She sure has some good mind power!

I didn't feel like typing yesterday and that feeling has run over into today but I thought I would force a note just to let you know. OVERALL, THINGS ARE PRETTY DOG-GONE GOOD HERE AND WE'RE VERY, VERY THANKFUL FOR ALL WE'VE BEEN GIVEN!

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on~Samuel Butler

July 16, 2005

Glenda say's that she feels somewhat better today. She might even move her headquarters to a living room chair tho I know the bed would be more comfortable. She even got dressed but she did get back on the bed. We'll see how it all goes.

She sure wanted to attend the Baysinger/Truesdell picnic this afternoon but the plans in that direction are pretty shaky right now. We still want to try making the day as enjoyable as we can. That might not be too great with the handicap but if a person loves life he should make the most of everyday he has. We're very thankful for everyone we've had and surly don't want to waste any that we may still have coming.

Thanks again for all your kind words, deeds and prayers!

Always pray and never waste a day! Life is what it's really all about.

July 15, 2005

The emotional roller coaster ride of the past month pretty well has us down for the day at least. Well Glenda is pretty well down physically but she sure is trying to stay upbeat about the ordeal mentally. She sure is a tough one!!! They have a huge knee brace on her leg to prevent her from bending it in the area that received the graft. If she gets up which shouldn't be very often she has got to move around on crutches. Last night the covering over the area where the graft was harvested allowed a lot of blood to escape which caused a near panic of Glenda. It took awhile to calm her down and get her to understand the blood had been there plainly visible under the clear bandage all the time and it had just leaked out. She had me call a doctor anyway. We're beyond that now.

I'm not planning anything very strenuous for myself this day. I'll fix Glenda a little to eat and just laze around and read my book. Mikey and I slept in the other room last night and first thing after leaving that room this morning I shut the door. I figured that was just as good as making the bed.

I also figure that I've typed enough to call this a note. Maybe only a short note but what the heck, I'm tired.

There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.G. K. Chesterton

July 14, 2005

If we can get through this day as well as we got along Tuesday there is going to be a bunch of happy rolling off our bodies. Whatever we're very thankful for the lives that God has granted us so far.

We have a little tube of deadener?? that we'll rub on her leg at the old cut site so the radiation shots around that cancerous site near her knee won't be quite so painful. The radiation is supposed to drain to the lymph nodes in her groin area. The doctor uses a thing like a Geiger Counter to locate the lymph nodes. He will then take one or a few to send for tests. He is going to cut the thing on her knee out again and clean the flesh where it was. I think it may be a pretty large chunk. Anyway I think they send that stuff off also. She goes into the operating room at 10:00 and this is same day surgery so unless something comes up she will be coming home with me. They may put a drain in the knee area that isn't going to be very handy but we've got to do what we've got to do.

Thank you so very much for all your prayers!! I don't think we could have gotten the good results that we have gotten so far without them.

I'll get back to you sooner or later.

There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.~Saint Theresa of Jesus

July 13, 2005

A haircut is what Glenda has on her today list about two down. At least I'm hoping that a little breakfast is above the haircut which is slated to be at 8:00 this morning. At this time I'm believing that breakfast may not even be on her list for today at all. Thank goodness for all this stored fat I have surrounding my innards. I can probably use a tiny tad of that if bad comes to worse. If she tries to feed me any oatmeal again I'm thinking just using what I've got so much of would be the best anyway.

When she gets home she said she has a very lot of things to do but I only got cleaning the house from one end to the other, doing a couple loads of wash and ironing a few things out of her. That doesn't add up to a lot of things so I guess she just didn't tell me all of it.

Now for me a lot of things is in store. Eat, read some of my book, read the newspapers on-line, send a few emails, turn the sprinkler on our new spot of grass and maybe make a bird house. All really important things. It is all in how you prioritize your time. When you're getting a little bit old it is even more important and I'm about 3 years and about 3 months older than Glenda.

The newest priority thing that just now came up, is the urgent need to put the end to this.

"The whole business of marshaling one's energies becomes more and more important as one grows older."-Hume Cronyn

July 12, 2005

This day we're going to make many giant strides! We're going to at least find out where or how strong our chances are. We truly believe that we'll be into the knee cancer and lymph nodes operations on Thursday. That means no cancerous tissue results from the liver tests. GET THAT STUFF OUT OF HER LEG AND NO BAD READ FROM THE LYMPH NODES is our next want to. After that we'll need to ride along with whatever treatment is prescribed. We'll let you know what we find out............sooner or later.

Other than that I just don't feel up to very much of this usual nothing this morning. I will add that still to this day we've heard nothing nor read anything pertaining to the results of the six polyps taken from my colon. No news is good news?????

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate -- that's my philosophy.~Thornton Wilder

July 11, 2005

Meanwhile, back here in the jungle, we're living, praying and hoping for the best tomorrow. From what little I know even the best still won't be a walk in the park but like Glenda actually said, "no need to worry too much about it, we'll just have to accept whatever we get and try to make the most out of it." She sure does hold up well, at least externally.

She and one of her friends have plans to hit the shopping mall at Osage Beach today. Hey, a little happiness at this time is a very welcome commodity.

My meager plans contains only one important item on the list, getting the pickup inspected. We had 30 days to get that done after we returned to Missouri but are a little late in getting it done. Surly none there will know when we got back. Boy, when you're having fun....................

The most fun part of these notes are always down here somewhere where the end is in sight. Lets get right to the fun!

Everything can be taken from a man but ... the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.~Victor Frankl

July 10, 2005

Ran out of real coffee this morning and had to use that lite 1/2 stuff. The lack of half the caffeine that I've been getting seems to have cut down my desire to do this quite a bit more than just the half that one might expect. If I had any thoughts at all they would be only half assed now.

Some relatives and friends stopped by yesterday afternoon to visit. We ended up playing the Bolo game. Maybe it's called Hoosier Golf, Hillbilly Golf, Snakes or Ladder golf I don't know. Anyway we probably played it enough times that we could say we played them all. The rules never changed anyway. I was on the winning team only one time. When you're hot you're hot and when you're not you're not! It was pretty warm out there and I was sweating like a motha but after all was said and done, I can't say that I ever got hot.

One of the relatives was my brother's eldest daughter, Amy, whom we hadn't seen for over twelve years. She spent the night but will head out for home sometime today. She is living in Overland Park, Kansas. It sure was good to see her!!!

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.~Captain Jean-Luc Picard

July 9, 2005

I got stuck right there at the first I so I decided just to let my fingers do the talking. It didn't take very long to discover that the fingers are no good alone and just a step above no good when my head tries to guide them. What's a poor boy to do?

Nothing comes to my mind. That has a double meaning here. This poor boy should do nothing and nothing is what's on my mind too. With nothing on my mind I could be finished with this note in nothing flat! Trying to describe what is on my mind this morning, nothing says it best.

I will skip out to say that when a person has a few worries deep in his head they seem to interfere with a normal thought process, whatever that might be. You're not conscious of the mind being on a worry but going into a room and then not knowing why you're there or driving down a road that you've travel hundreds of times and all of a sudden you don't know where you are, are just a couple of examples of nothing on your mind. I'm sure it happens to a lot of other folks, as they walk down the sidewalk of life not consciously knowing that they have something pretty heavy weighting on their mind. We call people like that 'scatter brains' and we should be ashamed of ourselves!

As I mentioned nothing has been accomplished in this note and I'm sure no one is surprised. It's about the same every day and has been for about................Lets see, the first one I kept was dated 8/01/2003, I guess that would make it for almost 3 years now that I've been trying to make an expert out of several of you.

"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing."-Anon.

July 8, 2005 ( ll )

Here is our latest deal................Glenda got released from the hospital around 9:30 this morning. Her mother and I were there to help her escape. She is now laying down trying for a nap because she didn't sleep well last night. The lady she roomed with talked in her sleep all night and the nurses kept coming in every hour or so to take her vitals and to withdraw some blood. They came in around 9:00 to collect a little more and Glenda refused them by stating she was going to be discharged pretty quick. Of course she was correct.

She feels fine and she looks great! No one could ever believe that such a terrible life threatening strain of cancerous stuff, http://www.cancer.gov/cancerinfo/pdq/treatment/adult-soft-tissue-sarcoma/patient/ is in the growth on the inner side of her leg just below the right knee. The now schedule is for a doctor's appointment on Tuesday the 12th where we should learn most of what we need to know. If the two liver lesions are benign, as thought at this time, an operation will happen on Thursday the 14th taking the thing from her leg again and a couple or three lymph nodes from the right side of her groin area. I think that after that it may be a few more days before we have any for sure idea as to whether next step will be a dancing one or a step toward the Anderson Cancer Hospital in Houston, Texas. I'm not much of a dancer but I'll damn sure be able to jiggle around on the dance floor if Glenda wants to.

The fact is, at this time we have no idea what is next. The liver test results will tell us a lot but I doubt we'll know anything about that till Tuesday. If the lesions are benign and are of this or that they will just leave them. If they are benign and something else this or that they may want to remove them later. Either way the leg and lymph node operation will go on Thursday. If they go against all the doctors opinions and are malignant a completely whole new process will take place and we have no idea what those options might be.

We're just enjoying our days as much as we can as we try to leave as many what ifs and I wonders out of our thoughts. If anything I believe, as Glenda does, that this will pass and we both will be a more aware and more compassionate person because of it. Who knows, some folks might even begin to like me a little too.

Remember that what you believe will depend very much on what you are.~Noah Porter

July 8, 2005

Yesterday was a complete mess! All we ended up doing was working on the possible liver problem. After many hours of Gamma Ray stuff that came after a blood withdrawal, mixing it with radiation stuff and re-injecting it, then we understood for sure there was a problem. Before any operation on the cancerous leg spot or the checking of the lymph node, the liver node lesions properties must be determined. That created a liver biopsy procedure which didn't end up quite like it should so they kept Glenda in the hospital overnight. A little bleeding around the spot was the reason for the overnight deal. Glenda is of course in a very up mode!.......Outwardly at least.........She is a real deal and my love!

Today, I'm going to pick her mother up to go with me to Columbia where we expect to collect Glenda and bring her home. She surely needs her mothers support at this time along with any other family member or friends who can spare the time!!!!

With the knowledge she has of the deadliness of the sarcoma cancer she has in her body she has been able to put up a much more spectacular front than I've been able to accomplish with all of my very honest faith. I really do believe that things will work out for the good but a tinge hits me every once in awhile for no recognizable reason. I'm positive that all of my tears will at least be a positive influence on the health of the tear ducts. Those things are a needed outlet for everyone, for all their life. May Glenda be able to use hers for many, many years to come.

We're thanking everyone for their prayers and good words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.~David Viscott

July 7, 2005

We're heading out for Columbia pronto. Today I believe we're going to learn a few things but maybe not all that we need to know. We were dealt another little possible setback yesterday, tho the doctor thinks, feels pretty sure that it will turn out to be nothing of worry. Of course more worry has been added to the bucket full we're carrying till we find out. That will happen today we're told.

Prayers are pretty powerful things!

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying/praying when there seemed to be no hope at all.~Dale Carnegie (edt)

July 6, 2005

We're off to see the wizard and we aren't even from Kansas. I doubt that we learn much of the results of today's cat-scan or of any the other tests but if we do I'll let you know. May not learn too much after the operation tomorrow as the doctor has told us that he would set an appointment with us about five days after the operation to discuss the whole thing.

Your prayers are really appreciated!

You can pray for someone even if you don’t think God exists.~Real Live Preacher

July 5, 2005

Nuttin to say so I'll spare you and me some waste of time this morning.

Everyone here is as well or better than you might expect. Tomorrow the pre-op and several tests then Thursday, the operation. I'll let you know how things go sooner or later. Probably later! They suggested we stay in Columbia Wednesday night but I think Glenda wants to spend the night in her own bed. We'll see.

Avoiding the phrase “I don’t have time...”, will soon help you to realize that you do have the time needed for just about anything you choose to accomplish in life. -Bo Bennett (Time is just a matter of priorities!)

July 4, 2005

If all it takes are clouds to make a rain we're in for a big one pretty chop chop. Sure is a nice view looking out this widow. Nary a boat in sight. It is quite too, tho some happy clown set off a bunch of fireworks somewhere close, at 4:23 this morning. Even if I knew where he was I'm sure he is sleeping it off and we would be unable to disturb his sleep. I'm not into revenge anyway.

Yesterday was mostly a laze around day but we enjoyed almost every minute of it. We may just do the same kind of stuff today. Everyday is only as much as you make of it so if a day ends and you're disappointed with it, have a friend or someone kick your butt! You know dragging a bunch of sad thoughts along with you never helps make for a good day. One may need to sit down and work a little on his faith if it gets to lagging too much because without faith hope hasn't got a chance. Pray and don't let your faith lag either!

When is a note a note anyway? I'm going to quit now anyway but I'll hum a few notes as I hit send. At least I'll know a note was done even if it is as off key as most of these notes. I hafta get on with other things

Since each person, as an individual, is the not-being of the other, it is never possible to eliminate non-understanding completely. -Friedrich Schleiermacher

July 3, 2005

We all had a nice visit and an extra for the girls was a shopping trip. Us two men sat on the porch and watched the action for the 4 1/2 hours they were gone. That was near too much sitting on the porch! Tho yesterday the boats didn't seem as bad as they had Friday I still wasted a little time in giving some advise to a couple of boaters and one wave runner operator. It was pretty noisy out there so I don't believe anyone heard me.

We grilled some steaks and after eating let all the dogs out. Russell brought Daisy over to join in the fray but we ended up pretty disappointed. I suppose you can't expect dogs that don't know one another to play and have a good time before the hierarchy has been established and that can't be done very quickly we learned. Daisy and Mikey beat each other up over the rope and Pepper and Gracie wanted to get into it too but always stopped short. They all left for their next stop around 4:00.

It is said to stay pretty cool here today and we plan to enjoy it. As far as I know there isn't one chore that I really haft to do but Glenda hasn't made the scene yet. I never know.................

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. -O. Henry

July 2, 2005

With our neighbors help we got the buoy in it's space by 10:00 yesterday morning. It is our first line of defense and will surly be needed this weekend. With or without a buoy the law is still no wake within 100 feet of a dock or anchored boat. No wake means that a boater should slow down to a speed only fast enough to steer the vessel. That is very slow. All a buoy does is define the 100 foot line. They do help but there are many boaters who either don't care or don't know. With a very loud scream, I try to educate those that break the rule in case they happen to be one of those that just don't know. They never seem to hear me and that might be what saves me from getting punched out.

The kids got here kind of late last night but we took the time to visit a couple hours before turning in. I don't know what is on our list for today but being the last to know isn't all that unusual for me. I'm sure I'll be able to handle it in some fashion. Glenda has already made one request of me......DON'T BE A GRUMP TODAY!

Tomi doesn't seem to be very happy about two strange dogs in the house tho neither of them has given Tomi any trouble. They are a couple of neat dogs! I'm sure that we'll get them, Gracie and Pepper, Mikey and Russell's dog Daisy together some time today. Four Boston Terriers should be quite entertaining.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.~Anon

July 1, 2005

My eldest daughter and her husband are supposed to be here from Fort Worth, Texas sometime this evening. They left the kids with their mother but they are bringing along their two sweet Boston Terriers. We'll have four of them playing in the yard at the same time, won't that be a hoot!

Glenda has plans to bowl this afternoon while I, with the help of my neighbors, plan to get the no wake buoy back in it's permitted space.

A friend over the hill had us and another couple of friends over for supper last night. Glenda sure likes going and that's what she needs now. Keeps her mind running on something else tho even when we are only sitting around she hasn't succumbed to the natural pull of brooding on the problems so far as we know them now and the little we know is a pretty good load.

Mostly we just set around in limbo. We know a little something but don't really know crap. Wait and pray is about all we can do as we struggle along with the health issues and try to live every day as normally as we can.

The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms timidly, and struggles to the light amid the thorns. -George Santayana